He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We have started to decorate penises.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
