Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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