It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
