writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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