Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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