he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
