a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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