exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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