I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
