I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
