Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
