We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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