I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
