She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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