I hate your face
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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