i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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