I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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