that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize