question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
