Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
