i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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