Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
