the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
