Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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