Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we made out on top of his cat.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
