Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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