i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
