i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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