i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
