We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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