there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
