worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You need Xanax blowdarts
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Your shirt... Was in my pants
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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