drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
