i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
