i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
