Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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