I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize