We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
