So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
