So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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