you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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