He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize