no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
