if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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