I like to think it a success when the cops are called
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
try to milk me bitch
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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