Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
