You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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