there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
