I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
