Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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