Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
