we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
