How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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