My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She announced her abortion via fbk
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
