How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize