I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
