she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
