So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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