I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
