apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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